Time to Party

I've decided I'm going to have a party and invite everyone who has ever been mad at me. I figure that there will be more people at that sort of party than at a party of people who I haven't rubbed wrong at least once.

And here's my theory about that: I'm a passionate person. I typically try to do my best for people and am always focused on results. As a result, when people get in my way of results or question my methods or my timing or my ability to perform basic tasks, I react in ways that by some are considered to be "over reactions" and by others to be "unprofessional." I am good at pissing people off. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often, but still, I probably should not be allowed to talk to clients...sadly there's no one to stop me or to do it instead of me, so it's a bit of problem.

One client told me yesterday that I was unprofessional because I suggested that perhaps I wasn't the best person to work on his account. I thought that was very nice of me. I have his best interests in mind. This same client reminds me weekly of what I'm not doing right and pretty much ignores the things I am doing. Another client got upset with me last week because his "no hurry" project became a "rush" without my knowledge, and when I said his project would be "forthcoming asap" (meaning as soon as I can get to it), he called that sort of deadline "silly and ridiculous." Being called unprofessional or silly or ridicuolous doesn't motivate me to do a good job for someone. Perhaps it used to, but at my age, I tend to be a little less willing to bend than the service business I am in probably requires. I'm usually working as hard as I can and trying my best for people. I typically go above and beyond and at least try things, although they don't always work. And if someone doesn't appreciate the effort or my style of doing it, I quickly lose my interest in their project and definitely lose my motivation. Because this is a commercial venture, I try to continue to plug away, but the less focused I get on results and the more focused I get on keeping people happy, the more uninteresting the work becomes to me. And if I lose interest, professional or not, I can't be as effective doing what I do.

It's funny, usually the happier my clients are, the less I'm probably doing for them. If I'm making them uncomfortable or causing them to be concerned about being able to accomplish something we've set out to do, or if they are spending money on something that makes them a little nervous, that typically means we have some good ideas that we're pursuing that are not easy to accomplish and that, if allowed to work, will work great. But lately, doing my job without making people uncomfortable or even mad is becoming harder and harder to do.

I don't know if it's the economy, or pressure people are under to make more money or make their paychecks stretch farther, but the people I deal with seem to be getting agitated much easier than I'm used to. I think I may be getting agitated easier too.

Even my kids are mad at me lately for things like not letting them drive my car to school or making them pick up their rooms. I know everyone isn't mad at me, but having even a few people mad at you can be a very demotivating factor.

But as I said, if I really think about the best client relationships I've had, they have been at times adversarial. Why? Because I've fought for the things I wanted to do or for the ability to try it my way. Clients have complained about things I haven't done and wished I'd done something else. I've worried about budgets, clients have worried about budgets. We've "fought" about money, about strategy, and about effort. Usually it works out and everyone understands the other's position. Sometimes it just can't be fixed. Sometimes when they don't treat me right, I just don't care. Because it is not all about the money.

Some weeks it feels like everyone is piling it on and I can't do anything right. So I've decided to have this little party and invite everyone who has been mad at me for something at least once in my life. I'll have to rent a big hall and hire a great caterer. I'll need several weeks head start to get ahold of everyone I've ever disappointed, but I think that when they all come together, it's going to be an impressive group. If I could bring the people both living and dead who I had disappointed, that would be even better. My dad could be there: he didn't like the way I did lots of things, and pleasing him was always a goal. My old boss from Syntex could be there if he were still alive. He was disappointed in how I didn't keep my nice car spotless and how I refused to side with management rather than "the masses" when developing messages that were supposed to bail him out of something he'd agreed to that corporate wanted us to support.

My mom would be there because of that time I forgot to reschedule the court date for probating my dad's will, and I forgot. My husband could be there for all the thousands of times I've pissed him off through the years. And my kids...they'd be there, along with sales people whose calls I didn't return, and ad reps whose ads I didn't buy.

Clients: I've got eleven years of them, and most have probably been upset with me at one time or another. I don't ever remember being fired, per say, but I've probably come close many times, usually when I didn't care, and I've certainly not sought contract renewals with clients that were hard to please or usually mad at someone or something. Old bosses who trained me only to leave and co-workers who thought I should have stayed on at jobs with a future would be at this party. My neighbors would be there for that fireworks incident. Some teachers would be there and school administrators. When I think about it, I've mad a lot of people mad in my life. There was the cousin whose wedding I cancelled out on and the reunion I didn't go to and the friend I didn't call while in Florida. Yes, if I invited everyone whose been mad at me I would have a huge crowd at a party.

Now why would anyone want to be in a room full of people who they have angered? I guess because if I didn't care about these people or their causes I would not have bothered to express my opinion to them or assert my dissent. If I didn't care if an event was successful or if a publication picked up a story...if I didn't care if my son's hair was cut so that he stayed out of trouble or that a room was clean for "health reasons" these people wouldn't be mad at me. But because I care about the success of clients and their events, I tell them what I think and inform them of my concerns. I don't react well to being micro-managed and I need to work on that. I don't like being told, "Because I'm paying you to do it that way." But I need to accept that as a good excuse for why someone is mad.

The party is forthcoming. If I've made you mad, you're invited. And if I haven't made you mad yet, give me a call. I'm sure that with a few months of getting to know me, I could find a way to get under your skin too. And when everyone is in the same room, I'm going to flick the lights off and on, ask for a drum roll, and then say, "I'm sorry." It's going to be a great party.