Aging Gracefully

We live in a world where a whole lot of attention is focused on how we look. That never bothered me much when I was young. Probably because I looked okay. But now that I'm officially mid 40s, and my friends are mid 40s (and older!), looking good is starting to require work. Lots of work.

It starts as soon as I get to work, which for me is pretty early, so it's an early reminder of my daily aging process. First reminder: I can't read anything without glasses. My eyesight went downhill about the time I turned 40. Sometime between then and now it fell off the hill into a deep, dark well. Now I'm having to face the fact that a more permanent solution might be a good idea. Maybe Lasik. But I hate doctors, I don't do elective surgery like most people seem to do. But I probably have at least a dozen pair of "readers," and I can never find a pair when I need them.

As we get older, our conversations with our friends shift too. We still talk about kids, but now some of my friends have kids who are graduating college or getting married. That is making all of us feel old. And of course if your friends are getting old, your conversations with them change. We talk about the health issues of our parents. We talk about losing weight and working out.

I live in Texas -- where you can't spit without hitting a plastic surgeon, and it seems like my friends are all getting "work" done. Botox. Face Lifts. Eye Lifts. Permanent Make-up. I knew about college funds, but I had no idea I'd get to this age and have to worry about coming up with thousands of dollars for these types of things. At least, that is, if I want to "keep up."

The one I'm most intrigued with now is the permanent make-up. It's pretty interesting. And considering I've never been very good with make-up, it seems like a good idea. I know it's not new, but they weren't doing it in my universe until last month. It's wild. Two of my closest friends have the permanent eyeliner top and bottom. It's really cool. I never thought aboout the fact that it's a tatoo. Who would have thought you'd ever come to a point where you could get your eyelids tatooed at a nail salon in a small town in Texas. I'm amazed.

But I've decided that for now at least I'm going to just try to age naturally and gracefully. My best friend is there with me too. She's very au naturale, and we'll get through this aging thing together.

My uncle, who is probably the coolest person in the world -- a product of the 1960s and my dad's youngest brother, is turning 60 this year. He writes books and reads philosophy and consults with government and industry. He's really, really smart. This week he sent me a one line e-mail. It simply said, "Every step we take is toward perfection."

"Every step I take is toward pefection."

Wow. What a great way to think about life, and for me it fits with all this thinking about aging. I'm going to do what I can to age gracefully. I'm trying to exercise more and eat less. I'm on my way to being perfect, and although it's still going to be a lot of work, being perfect is not going to be based on how I look.