Some things are just for me.

I don't have a lot of free time, but the free time I do have usually hits around 10 p.m. By that time my husband has been in bed asleep for an hour "watching the game" and my teenage sons are behind closed doors on the internet, studying, I'm sure. It's the perfect time for an exhausted mom to kick back on the couch, in the dark, and turn on the big screen to watch whatever is on BRAVO TV.

BRAVO, for those of you who are wasting your time over on Fox or some other Spews Channel, is where it's at. It is the perfect mindless, ridiculous, almost "oh my goodness I can't believe they do this with cameras watching, what are their friends, opponents going to think when they see THIS season train wreck?" of a line-up that TV has ever had. I L O V E it.

Rachel Zoe, Josh and Madison and Chad, the housewives, Patti at the Millionaire Matchmaker. I love it. Plus Top Chef,whatever is on BRAVO, I'll watch it. Late at night.

Truthfully the main reason I got hooked on BRAVO is I don't really know how to work a remote that well. So if I'm lucky enough to find a channel with something I want to watch, I just have to leave it there, through the commercials and all. My remote problems have to do with a combination of fading eyesight (the buttons are so small), complicated systems, the fact I like to watch TV in the dark late at night (see above), but mostly because at that time of evening there are no men in the room. The men in my house have controlled the remotes for 25 years. I've never had a chance to learn how to use one. So BRAVO is where it's at for me. It's my one guilty TV pleasure, and it's the only thing I watch.

But the point of my post...personal assistants. On all these BRAVO shows everyone has a personal assistant. As a publicist I have worked with people who have personal assistants. I wrote letters to the editor for a genius of a man who basically invented computers and at one point was acting much like a personal assistant for he and his wife as they worked toward building an Eco-Village in the hills west of Boulder. I've wanted a personal assistant -- the right personal assistant -- for a long time.

I've probably written about my experience hiring people before. If not, I know I should, because I have some funny stories. People you hire always come with a cast of characters -- their family members, friends, parole officers.

I hired an assistant once who was great. For a week. Then all her "characters" started showing up. I had an office suite at the time, and she brought her 90 year old mom to work, put her in the corner, then proceeded to spend a few hours hooking up a TV for her mom to watch. There is much more, but she lasted a couple months. Maybe five weeks.

The next one was great and could do anything PLUS had great ideas. But she wasn't available during the day. I felt guilty because she had to spend all sorts of money to upgrade her computer just to get EMAIL, and she was not nearly as computer literate as I would have liked. She also could only work for me at night or on weekends, and if there's any time I hate to work it's at night and on the weekends. She always wanted to come on Saturdays. By Saturday afternoon I've been to a 5 a.m. hockey practice, maybe a game, played tennis, and I'm ready for a nap, not work. Anyway, that didn't work.

Then there was the friend who closed his business and then told me he was going to work with me and create a position for himself. I said, Great, bring it on, but after one day in my office I think he realized it wasn't for him. Anyway, that didn't work.

Then there's Jess. I've known her for a while because she worked where I get my mail. She had taken a couple other part time assistant things around the lake, and it was working for her. She had time for a few hours a week for me, so I grabbed her. She's working out great. She's coming today. When she is here, things get done. Important things. She gets the job sheets filled out or (as in today) off the floor and organized and filed and prioritized by deadline. She gets all my work up on the white board. She will go through all the college materials and get deadlines together for my son's college apps. She will order me football tickets if I want her to.

Since I'm a writer, I can't write when someone else is in my office. Or I prefer not to, so Jess comes on the days when I'm calling clients and doing research or interviews or pitching. When I'm on the phone, she's master of my domain and gets things organized, filed and put away. She only stays a few hours, and when she's gone, I get back to writing.

The more she's around the more I realize how much I can get done with help. ORGANIZATIONAL help. I have design help and business partners and lots of people I share work with who HELP me. But they are doing work for my clients. The personal assistant seems the most valuable to ME though. At the risk of sounding selfish. She's MINE. I don't want her working for my clients. She works for me. My work involves a business and a family and how the two co-exist. If she was available more, I'd have her handling my son's party tomorrow too. Those things are part of MY job. A personal assistant CAN help with that stuff. There's lots to be done. Take this party...

Tomorrow is Halloween and my 14 year old son guilted me into letting him have some friends over because "there isn't anything for kids like us to do but get in trouble." So he's having some teens over "NOT for a Halloween party," but just for a party party.

Parties throw the household into a tizz and are somewhat outside the domain of a personal assistant. For this, I really need a housekeeper. Like Zoila: Jeff's housekeeper on Flipping Out. Love that show. Yes. I need a Zoila. She could clean the crust out of my son's bathroom sink and clean my house so it sparkles. She could go to the market and buy the stuff for the frito pie for the party, and make sure there's enough soda and candy and all that Halloween not Halloween stuff.

Yep. That would be nice. But for now I'll live vicariously through the people on BRAVO TV. I'll cherish the few hours I have with my own personal assistant. And if I'm really, REALLY lucky, my new assistant will teach me how to use the remote.

Please Give Generously to the American Cancer Society

My sister-in-law Nancy Shaw, shown here with my two sons and her husband Jim, recently lost her 4-year battle with brain cancer. Cancer takes far too many far too young. I encourage everyone to give generously to the American Cancer Society so that wonderful, loving people like Nancy can live long, healthy lives.

In Memory of Nancy Kay Holubar Shaw, May 1, 1954 - October 17, 2009

Children of the Corn?

I grew up in Iowa and even worked for Pioneer Seed Corn in the corn fields during the summers between my college years, but I have never seen corn like this. This photo was taken in Culver, Indiana on my uncle's farm. This field had the most amazingly TALL corn! I had to have my photo taken next to the field. If you are from the midwest, you understand how amazing this is. Keep in mind that I'm 5'9" tall, so this is VERY tall corn! I've never seen anything so healthy and green, although everything that we had out of the gardens in Indiana was also amazing -- tomatos, peppers. Living in Texas, I miss sights like this. There's not much that grows down here, and cotton just doesn't look this impressive. My aunt was telling me about a book she was reading about how corn really controls the world. With corn this tall, I can see how it could!

Put Yourself First First (sic)

With September 1 being my personal New Year's Day, and a nice relaxing long weekend behind us, I'm planning to put into play a new focus and renewed energy today.

I've decided that my role is to make other people feel better, and to help other people succeed.
Through this, my personal success is achieved, and definitely multiplied.

However, the only way I can help other people is if I have my own act together. (Therein lies the dilemma on many a day.)

But today I'm going to do whatever I can to be a success at helping others. To do that requires a good cup of coffee (or two or three), a bit of exercise, some meditation, some prayer, some order (which involves a little cleaning), and some bill paying. (Designers and printers and magazines need to be paid!) After that I can focus on the other things that help my clients succeed: writing, media relations, research, radio shows, web sites, trade show ideas...
-----
I love this time of year. The long hot summer is about over, and people are doing what they can to jump start new ideas and new initiatives. The economy is sputtering along, but people are starting to realize they have to do things differently than before, and I'm fortunate that for me that means the chance to do a lot of new work.

Life can be very good. You just have to be happy with what you encounter every day and enjoy it to its fullest. Quit wishing you were doing something else. You're not. Just do what you're doing the best you can.

That's what I'm trying to do.

Life Happens

In the last 90 days, within my family, there has been a wedding, a divorce, a death, and a birth. We are also praying for a family member with advanced cancer, helping a family member who broke her ankle, and comforting a teenager whose first love broke it off two weeks into school. There's definitely a lot going on.

The range of emotions required to deal with my life at this stage of the game is intense. I'm lucky, I guess, because it's not my first time dealing with the realities and imperfections of life. I've been wearing the big girl pants for quite a while now. It's almost sad, because at this point in my life, nothing really rattles me. It's almost as if I've been through most of it anyway, so bring it on. I'm not afraid.

One thing I've also learned through all of the last few weeks is that you never ever ever know what someone on the other end of the phone or email line is dealing with. They too may be dealing with family issues, illness, or the death of a parent or a marriage. We tend to think that it's all about us. Someone doesn't return our call, and we think, "What did I do to her?" Someone doesn't return an email and we think, "They don't want to deal with me."

The truth, I believe, is that everyone is involved in complex situations all the time. You never know what people are dealing with. None of my clients probably realize that I'm crippled on a particular day with pain or heartache. I don't tell them. I figure it's really not anything they'd care to know or that impacts what I do for them. If it does, I'll let them know.

So on the flip side, now when I deal with people I am going to do my best to just assume that their lives are in tatters and that the one interaction that day that makes them happy or helps them laugh just might be me.

That's my goal. And for those of you who read this and feel like you can make me smile, bring it on. We can all use a little uplifting, not just now and then, but every single day of our lives.

Business is Booming (well, almost)

Every once in a while I get in the mood to remind my clients that I'm still around. In my business, that's actually a pretty good thing to do. Agencies come and go. Consultants (like me) get tired of the cash flow ebbs and tides and decide they'd rather have a job. I'm a little different, I suppose. I haven't had a "real job" in more than a dozen years. I've been through up cycles and down cycles in the economy, as well as the dog days of summer when you can't get anyone on the phone, but nothing in my self employed life has been as bad as the things I experienced in the corporate world.



Most people say they want the "security" of a corporate job. They want a paycheck every two weeks. I'd like that too, but I don't buy the security bit. I spent 12 years in corporate America, and I didn't see a whole lot of security going on. Sure, it was nice to get a steady paycheck and an annual bonus just for showing up. But I knew people that made a game out of seeing how long they could go without actually doing any work. Sometimes it could be months, if not years! Then there were the people who worked really hard, but they made someone higher up nervous or said the wrong thing at the holiday party and got sacked. Corporate just never made that much sense to me.



So because I don't ever want to have to go get another "real job," every few months I feel the need to send something out to my growing list of satisifed clients. Contrary to popular belief, a client is not just the person you're working with today. Clients are the people you worked with last month, last year, even last decade. If you treat them right, there's always a chance they'll come back. In my experience, they usually do.



In my line of work, you have to do things in advance of when you need it. If you want to be in a magazine in December, you better contact them in June. If you are expecting business to pick up in January, you need to increase production in October. The same goes for when business slows down, which it usually does just briefly for me around this time of year.



The good news is this is a great time of year to be a little slow. It's Texas and it's hot as Hades outside. I don't want to be pulling on panty hose and driving to the city. I want to come to work in my shorts and flip flops and maybe take off at 3 and lay by the pool. I want to play tennis in the morning while it's cool, or stay up late and watch a movie with my kids. Summer is a great time.



But summer ends and everyone has to get back to work. This year, we're waiting for the long summer called RECESSION to end and for everyone to get back to work. I've managed to stay busy during this time, and my clients -- knock wood -- are doing well. Perhaps it's because they didn't cut back on their marketing or PR and instead took advantage of having more space available in the papers for their news or fewer ads in the magazines which helped them stand out. Thats a good thing.



As summer winds down, I'm ready to jump back in with both feet. I'm hoping the dozens of clients I've had the privilege of working with through the years feel the same way. I think we're in for some real growth ahead. I know my business is preparing for it. I'm staffing up, cleaning up, and getting ready for 2010. Okay, it's still four and a half months away, but if you don't plan ahead, you won't be ready. Get ready. Business is about to boom for all of us. I can feel it!

It's hard to believe it's almost hockey season again. Probably because hockey never stops at my house. We're in the middle of summer league -- 4 on 4, no checking, no icing, no offsides, no clock stops...it's an interesting chance for the kids to play the game a little differently and maybe learn some new skills. I've enjoyed watching this version of hockey. Since my son's a big kid, taking the "check" out of the game is challenging for him. It's been fun to watch.

But "real" hockey season kicks off in earnest later this month. Fees must be paid, those early morning practices begin, and in my son's case, he enters his senior year and his last year of high school hockey. As for me, I'm going to use this inspiration to try to get a little new business. This ad may begin running in Ice Times this month (on a space available basis). I proofread the columns each month pro bono, and this week the publisher offered me an ad. (The HP logo indicates to other hockey parents that I'm a hockey parent. It's the magazine's way of taking care of its own.)

I'll report here if this leads to new business. The rinks themselves could sure use the help!