Where has this month gone?

If you're like me, it took you a while to get back in the swing after the holidays.

If you're like me, once you got in the swing, you started spinning,and it's been a whirlwind ever since.

The horrible earthquake damage in Haiti. I don't know about you, but I am paralyzed about what I can do to help. Do I have ten bucks added to my phone bill by texting a certain number? Do I give to the Red Cross? Do I adopt a baby or offer a family refuge in my home? For days I have been worried about what I should do.

Now somehow it's already Jan. 21. In Texas, it's 72 degrees outside and the sun is shining. It feels like winter is gone. Last night there was a tornado about 20 miles from my house. Tornados in January? That's just odd.

It's January 21. Pretty soon it will be spring break and graduation. Isn't my FAFSA paperwork due next week? Don't I have to do my taxes first? I've never done them before August, or at least April. Do I really have to do them now? Housing contracts from college will be here soon...is he sure that's where he wants to go?

Yes, in my world there is spinning and whirlwind activities, and time racing by and tornados just down the road. I'm thinking this is going to be one heck of a year. It surely has to be better than last year, right? If not, at least it's moving fast. So far, work is crazy, people are excited, and I'm having fun. So why don't I feel in control? I like my clients, they seem to like me, I've got more than ever, so it must be good, right?

But WHAT am I really doing every day?

Yep...I have to figure out what I can do about the situation in Haiti, or at least find out if the people who lost their homes a few miles down the road have some clothes to wear. But first I have to call that guy, and write that thing, and follow up on that other...I need to clear my desk of the lingering December work and get my invoices that aren't out, out! I owe this thing to that guy, and that thing to this guy...and new business is rolling in...

Yep, things are moving fast. This month has flown by. The holidays are definitely behind us.

Happy Holidays from American Airlines

Happy Holidays from American Airlines

Posted using ShareThis

Elf Wanted

I just glanced at my calendar to see we're just two and a half weeks away from Christmas. Based on the amount of preparation I have done up to now, I'd say Christmas is going to be very low key around here.

My dear husband got the Christmas spirit the day after Thanksgiving. Here it was in the 70s and a gorgeous day. Traditionally it is a great day to put up your lights. I was exhausted from a day of cooking and entertaining that had evolved into a night of entertaining, so I haphazardly participated, not quite ready for Christmas.

Mark got out the lights and proceeded to determine what worked and what didn't. We lost one of our two large evergreens out front this year, so we had a few extra lights from that tree, which I had enjoyed decorating with large balls and ornaments. (I sort of wonder if I killed it doing that. The balls were all made in China.)

Anyway, Mark took a strand of those big, old fashioned lights and strung them along the front of our porch. He did this while I was checking email or something, and when I came out, I wasn't thrilled. But, trying hard to have some Christmas spirit, I didn't say anything, then.
Instead, I suggested that we head to town to see if we could find a new "show piece" for our outdoor lighting display. I wanted a large "PEACE" sign, the words, not the symbol, that could present my goal for this holiday to the neighborhood. Mark reluctantly agreed, reminding me that it was Black Friday and WalMart would be a zoo. I convinced him that would be half the fun and off we went.

Either WalMart decided no one wanted holiday decorations this year or they were all sold out, because the shelves there were void of my giant "PEACE" sign and anything else that might have been considered as a "Show Piece." We bought some toilet paper and left.

We headed to Lowes to see what we could find there. They had all sorts of those big blow-up things, even a Santa golfer with a bunch of elves who spun around to swing at the ball. It was pretty cool, but just wasn't what I had in mind. There were no lighted Peace signs, and only a handful of other things that I felt might work as a "back-up" plan. None thrilled me. So we left Lowes empty handed and returned home.

So for the last week, as the weather has turned cold and the rain has come in buckets, our house has had just one sorry strand of lights (silly old fashioned lights) on it. I haven't even bothered to turn them on. A few neighbors have somehow managed to get their lights up, and some displays are very nice. But participation this year seems down. I hope it's due to the weather and not to the economy. I guess time will tell.

Inside, my house has fared a little better, but not much. Mark pulled down a dozen or so boxes marked "Christmas," and I have made a few feeble efforts to decorate, but I'm not thrilled with the results just yet, and the boxes I want seem to be missing.

We also had a sad mishap this weekend when I headed to the attic to find my missing boxes. I was looking for my ceramic lighted Christmas tree and all the pieces of my Nativity Set. The tree was a gift from Mark's mom when we first got married. We have had it more than 20 years. I love it. It stays on the entire holiday season and has beautiful lights. I've seen other ceramic trees like this at craft fairs and such, but ours has always been the prettiest to me.

Mark followed me up to the attic where I found a box that I peeked into that seemed to contain my Christmas pillows. It wasn't very heavy, and not very big. I certainly didn't think it contained our favorite ceramic tree when I handed it to Mark and said, "This is pillows, just toss it down." Mark tossed the box down the steps to a resulting smattering of broken ceramic and lights. He looked down the ladder, and sure enough, our ceramic tree had been tucked lovingly in between two Christmas pillows, and it now lay in a million pieces.

I took the blame, but Mark felt the guilt. I tried to be non-chalant, but he was less so. He went downstairs to clean up the mess while I kept looking for my Nativity scene and tried not to be bummed out about our favorite tree, although the incident definitely put a damper on my decorating plans and enthusiasm for the task. It took Mark totally out of the game, so I got bored quick too and quit.

So at this point, that's the status. The fireplace mantle has been cleared and our stockings are hung. A couple wreathes have been hung outside on either side of the front door and a few more are scattered around the porch. I poured through the women's mags over the weekend and got all sorts of ideas. But nothing is done. Not yet. My inspiration is here, but my action plan is not.

So I'm looking for an elf. I'm praying for an elf. I want someone to inspire me and get me going on the decorating part of Christmas. To me, it's the best part. I always love my home when it's decorated for Christmas inside and out. I love getting up in the morning and plugging in the tree so that our home is festive at breakfast and throughout the day. I love turning on the outdoor lights at dark. We just aren't there yet, and time is fleeting.

And don't even ask me about shopping. I haven't done a thing other than ask people "What do you want for Christmas" and get "I dunno" as the answer. It's all good though. The holidays are not about the material things but the celebration. But that doesn't change the fact that a Christmas elf who could light a fire under me this year would be a handy thing to have.

Dec. 1, Now What?

I flipped my calendar over today onto the last page of the year. I did it unceremoniously. I looked at the days and the picture of a serene, undeveloped beach at South Padre Island, Texas, and I tried to get sentimental. I looked at the month hanging there before me, and I tried to feel excitement or melancholy or satisfaction. All I could think was "I have to get a new calendar."

In previous years, early in the history of this blog, I wrote some sentimental stuff. We're coming up on the end of the year and the start of a new one, and I'm not sure exactly what I feel. There's a definite sense of calm, and I feel like that should alarm me. But it doesn't.

December is one of those months that, when done right, allows your personal life -- and if you're lucky your family life -- to overwhelm your work life. Sadly most people don't do it right. They try to maintain "balance" or fit the personal stuff into the cracks of a busy "end of year."

Don't get me wrong, December -- the whole holiday period -- is HUGELY busy for me work-wise. I have some retail clients and the biggest trade show in my business (one of the biggest trade shows in the world, in fact) happens early in the year every year, so we're knee deep in preparations. December is a time for proposals and new agreements and negotiations too. Clients want to get together and I need to send gifts, buy some new company mugs or something (help, Susan). Plus the family cards, which I think are so important, have to get done (the earlier the better and you get more back!) And let's not even get started on the whole shopping thing. This year I just think even talking about it is bad form.

When I started my business, and when my kids were small, I would tell people "I don't work much in August or December." I didn't because I couldn't. August was vacation and back to school time, and if I'd had a busy summer, which I usually did, by August I was guilt ridden with how many times I had plunked my kids in front of a movie or made them play "the quiet game" so I could work. I "took August off" for many years. It was a company rule, and a very good one. I had to give that up the last few years, but it was a good tradition while it lasted. I also used to not work much in December. Years ago I had fewer clients and they were corporate clients and they literally shut down new projects (it seemed) from Thanksgiving through the new year. That was fine with me. I had time for birthdays (there are two December birthdays in my family) and school parties and Christmas and didn't worry about work. I no longer get my December free.

My assistant was here yesterday and she's done with her shopping. I was impressed. I have done a little shopping -- early shopping -- incredibly frugal and downright embarassingly CHEAP shopping. I've spent the last few days searching for the things I KNOW I bought the last few months. (I'm a good hider, with some great hiding places.) I've started making lists of things I need to do. But I'm easing into it. I'm a giver, so I don't stress over holiday time. I savor.

So anyway, it's December already. Another year is about shot, and yet December itself is full of promise. This month gives us a chance to wrap up the year with a little extra effort. I am gung ho about business, buckling down for the next several years, which will involve putting my children through college. (That will sober you up if the rest of mid-life hasn't already.) But I am busy, every week brings new experiences (usually involving waiting up for teens and this mid-life emotion called "worry"), and I am loving the momentum. I believe good vibes attract good stuff. That isn't very prophetic, but dang it, it's early in the day.

So flip your calendar over -- I just flipped another one to reveal two beautiful quarter horses in a winter brown pasture covered with a dusting of frost. They don't look to be in a hurry. They're chillin'. That's a good message for this month. Slow, measured paces through the routine of life, and throw in a few celebrations and a lot of thoughtful giving, and that will be a nice wrap up to a very different year and a nice wind up for what I believe will be one of the most incredible years of our lives. 2010. I can feel it. It's looming like a big tidal wave. I'm seeing housing construction, restaurant construction, and lots of activity around our town, and Dallas never did seem to slow down...so enjoy December. Savor the serenity and the IDEAS of the holiday season. Get your decorations out and enjoy them. Stay the course.

Then toward the end of the month, hang up a new calendar, strap in and hold on, because this rebound is going to be a wild, wild ride, and it's definitely headed straight for us. I can feel it. But for now, let's just enjoy December. It really is the best month of the year.

Idea of the day

If you've read my blog any time over the last year, you have been privy to a random list of things that go on in my head. Blog posts usually arise out of me needing a warm up for the day. You have seen singers warm up with scales. For a writer, at least for me, blog posts are a tool, one of many, that I can use. It's much more stream of consciousness than anything else I do, and I break a lot more grammar rules than any client work I do, but I also know I don't have a million readers I'm offending, so I think it's really okay.

So I was thinking about, this is sort of weird, thinking. My job involves a lot of thinking. I like that part. It's something I get paid for, because thinking leads to ideas. My clients want ideas. Actually, they have ideas. They want good ideas, and great ideas if they are good at their jobs, and my clients are. So let's just say they all want great ideas, and they want me to help them do them. Since my job is to DO these ideas, it's important to me that the ideas are not only good, but they're doable, and have a good probability of success. I also like it when they can be fun to do, or when it allows me project budgets that I can get creative with, but a good idea is a good idea, and coming up with them is not always easy.

Just having a good idea is the first level, but that's no guarantee that it's going to work. Since clients want results, not flashy executions that cost a lot of money and that might be fun to do: they want real results, so you have to think things through. It can't always be rushed. Sure, you can be on a call or in a meeting and get a good idea. That does happen all the time, but a lot of times those good ideas end up not being that good of an idea. It's certainly something else to think about.

So, if you're still with me, cool. There is a point to this post. The cool thing about having "think time" is it's what makes the difference between a successful marketing or communication program or an okay one. I am fortunate to have great clients that value the strategy part of business. That's the fun part. When you are being strategic, it's not a chase, it's an avid and deliberate pursuit. That's fun. It gives you something to measure too. I have great clients who think in goals and objectives and strategies and tactics. That's how I think too, so it works out. I like that I do get paid to think, not on an hourly basis, per say, but more the value side of the equation. It's why lawyers can charge $300 an hour or why photographers charge $2000 a day to take pictures. It's the value thing. Mine's idea-related value.

I like that there's no hard labor involved in thinking, which is not to be confused with thinking hard. There is such a thing as thinking hard, or having it BE hard to think of something good. But there are ways to get around that, and professional thinkers know them. I have my own. Everyone does. The best part about thinking (and the thing I think most people forget), is you can think all the time. One might say you really should. Not about work, so much, but just about whatever. It's important to be present in the moment, but there's also a lot of your brain that can be thinking without you really being tuned into it. Even in yoru sleep. I think I learned to play bridge in my sleep last night. I had read about it in depth last week, and last night I think I dreamed I played. Now I know how to play. That's what's cool. The brain is really amazing.

I hope it's not just me,but when you are thinking, it's important to write things down. Otherewise, again I hope this isn't just me, you will forget your ideas. That's because when you learn to think, you come up with all sorts of stuff. Weird, random stuff sometimes. It might be valuable, it might not. It's best to just write things down. I get ideas every day that I do write down. Most are for clients. Some are not. In fact, a lot are probably just random ideas that I write down out of habit. I find scribblings all the time on bank slips or other pieces of paper out of my car, and in my phone, random stuff: scenes for screenplays labeled only, "tuna sandwich and bad Spanish scene." I have no idea what that really means. I know what it's for, but I have no idea what the scene is about, although at one point I apparently thought of something I thought was a good enough to write down. I need to write more detail with some ideas, because even the good ones can be fleeting. Memory is a funny thing.

I thought of an awesome idea for a screenplay about a young bridge player. It's hilarious. I have the casting figured out and everything. Of course someone needs to write it, and it's in my head, so that would seem to need to be me, but I don't have a lot of time or any one willing to pay my mortgage for me while I write the screenplay. That's an example of a great idea that will hang around a while. I may try to do it, or find someone to help me do it, but that's a side issue...

Today my great idea was to start a business to provide college search services, and even expanded beyond that, to include scholarship identification and applications. I'd like to own that business, but maybe not work at it. I searched the term, and people are doing it. I think it's really interesting. I'm doing it pro bono, and there's nothing horrible about the process. It would be harder to do for someone else, but not impossible. I really have let my son lead the process, so that would be the same with just about any client. I have to think about it a little more. I like the idea. After all, I've learned how to do this, mostly because I had time to think about how to do it. I also had an assistant who really has been helpful in organizing all the hundreds of pieces of information related to everything from testing to transcripts to scholarship deadlines and individual college brochures and applications. I have my son driving the process and saying, "Yes, No, Hey Mom Look at THIS." We've done a lot. Probably more than most. I see it as another way to make money, because money you don't spend is money you make. I have justified spending time on this because that is how I THINK about it. What "normal" parent has time to do this? I hope all, but I know not many. If you're about to fork over $100-$150,000 of your money over the next four years on college (or go into debt or whatever) why not pay someone SOMETHING to help you and make sure you are getting everything you need to get and are doing everything you should do? It's a good idea. Maybe even a great one. Perhaps even viable. We'll see. If you want to work in that business, call me.

A final thought about thinking: the best thing about thinking is it can be done while you do other things, and it doesn't have to be done "at work." You can think while you drive, while you listen to music, while you walk a dog or do laundry. It can be done while you're cooking, but I don't recommend it. I've tried it. I avoid thinking about anything other than cooking when I'm cooking. There are just too many dangers: measurements, knives, hot burners. Cooking takes concentration, and for me it's fun in itself, so if I'm going to cook I'm going to enjoy that and not waste that time thinking. The reality, however, is that I don't get to cook very often. I'm usually writing away or thinking about something totally unrelated to cooking and someone in my house begins whining about STARVING. So then there's no time for a trip to the store for the fresh ingredients that Rachael Ray or Southern Living recommends, we can't have a child DYING on the floor from starvation, so we throw some burgers on the grill or (I have teenage boys) steaks under the broiler, and we go for easy to bake or microwave stuff that comes straight out of the freezer. I hate thinking about that. At least we recycle. We go through a lot of cardboard. I don't like thinking about that either, but I do. A lot. Again, I'm sure, more than most.

Last year I was thinking a lot about product packaging. I even wrote a post about it. Some companies are doing things differently now, probably driven more by cost than waste. Oreo, for example, took my advice (I have to think) and changed their packaging. There is far less waste now.

Okay, enough of this thinking about thinking, especially since it's lunch time and now Im thinking about food. It's funny how the mind works. It's amazing and definitely something to think about.

Now get back to work!

Some things are just for me.

I don't have a lot of free time, but the free time I do have usually hits around 10 p.m. By that time my husband has been in bed asleep for an hour "watching the game" and my teenage sons are behind closed doors on the internet, studying, I'm sure. It's the perfect time for an exhausted mom to kick back on the couch, in the dark, and turn on the big screen to watch whatever is on BRAVO TV.

BRAVO, for those of you who are wasting your time over on Fox or some other Spews Channel, is where it's at. It is the perfect mindless, ridiculous, almost "oh my goodness I can't believe they do this with cameras watching, what are their friends, opponents going to think when they see THIS season train wreck?" of a line-up that TV has ever had. I L O V E it.

Rachel Zoe, Josh and Madison and Chad, the housewives, Patti at the Millionaire Matchmaker. I love it. Plus Top Chef,whatever is on BRAVO, I'll watch it. Late at night.

Truthfully the main reason I got hooked on BRAVO is I don't really know how to work a remote that well. So if I'm lucky enough to find a channel with something I want to watch, I just have to leave it there, through the commercials and all. My remote problems have to do with a combination of fading eyesight (the buttons are so small), complicated systems, the fact I like to watch TV in the dark late at night (see above), but mostly because at that time of evening there are no men in the room. The men in my house have controlled the remotes for 25 years. I've never had a chance to learn how to use one. So BRAVO is where it's at for me. It's my one guilty TV pleasure, and it's the only thing I watch.

But the point of my post...personal assistants. On all these BRAVO shows everyone has a personal assistant. As a publicist I have worked with people who have personal assistants. I wrote letters to the editor for a genius of a man who basically invented computers and at one point was acting much like a personal assistant for he and his wife as they worked toward building an Eco-Village in the hills west of Boulder. I've wanted a personal assistant -- the right personal assistant -- for a long time.

I've probably written about my experience hiring people before. If not, I know I should, because I have some funny stories. People you hire always come with a cast of characters -- their family members, friends, parole officers.

I hired an assistant once who was great. For a week. Then all her "characters" started showing up. I had an office suite at the time, and she brought her 90 year old mom to work, put her in the corner, then proceeded to spend a few hours hooking up a TV for her mom to watch. There is much more, but she lasted a couple months. Maybe five weeks.

The next one was great and could do anything PLUS had great ideas. But she wasn't available during the day. I felt guilty because she had to spend all sorts of money to upgrade her computer just to get EMAIL, and she was not nearly as computer literate as I would have liked. She also could only work for me at night or on weekends, and if there's any time I hate to work it's at night and on the weekends. She always wanted to come on Saturdays. By Saturday afternoon I've been to a 5 a.m. hockey practice, maybe a game, played tennis, and I'm ready for a nap, not work. Anyway, that didn't work.

Then there was the friend who closed his business and then told me he was going to work with me and create a position for himself. I said, Great, bring it on, but after one day in my office I think he realized it wasn't for him. Anyway, that didn't work.

Then there's Jess. I've known her for a while because she worked where I get my mail. She had taken a couple other part time assistant things around the lake, and it was working for her. She had time for a few hours a week for me, so I grabbed her. She's working out great. She's coming today. When she is here, things get done. Important things. She gets the job sheets filled out or (as in today) off the floor and organized and filed and prioritized by deadline. She gets all my work up on the white board. She will go through all the college materials and get deadlines together for my son's college apps. She will order me football tickets if I want her to.

Since I'm a writer, I can't write when someone else is in my office. Or I prefer not to, so Jess comes on the days when I'm calling clients and doing research or interviews or pitching. When I'm on the phone, she's master of my domain and gets things organized, filed and put away. She only stays a few hours, and when she's gone, I get back to writing.

The more she's around the more I realize how much I can get done with help. ORGANIZATIONAL help. I have design help and business partners and lots of people I share work with who HELP me. But they are doing work for my clients. The personal assistant seems the most valuable to ME though. At the risk of sounding selfish. She's MINE. I don't want her working for my clients. She works for me. My work involves a business and a family and how the two co-exist. If she was available more, I'd have her handling my son's party tomorrow too. Those things are part of MY job. A personal assistant CAN help with that stuff. There's lots to be done. Take this party...

Tomorrow is Halloween and my 14 year old son guilted me into letting him have some friends over because "there isn't anything for kids like us to do but get in trouble." So he's having some teens over "NOT for a Halloween party," but just for a party party.

Parties throw the household into a tizz and are somewhat outside the domain of a personal assistant. For this, I really need a housekeeper. Like Zoila: Jeff's housekeeper on Flipping Out. Love that show. Yes. I need a Zoila. She could clean the crust out of my son's bathroom sink and clean my house so it sparkles. She could go to the market and buy the stuff for the frito pie for the party, and make sure there's enough soda and candy and all that Halloween not Halloween stuff.

Yep. That would be nice. But for now I'll live vicariously through the people on BRAVO TV. I'll cherish the few hours I have with my own personal assistant. And if I'm really, REALLY lucky, my new assistant will teach me how to use the remote.

Please Give Generously to the American Cancer Society

My sister-in-law Nancy Shaw, shown here with my two sons and her husband Jim, recently lost her 4-year battle with brain cancer. Cancer takes far too many far too young. I encourage everyone to give generously to the American Cancer Society so that wonderful, loving people like Nancy can live long, healthy lives.

In Memory of Nancy Kay Holubar Shaw, May 1, 1954 - October 17, 2009