Aging Gracefully

We live in a world where a whole lot of attention is focused on how we look. That never bothered me much when I was young. Probably because I looked okay. But now that I'm officially mid 40s, and my friends are mid 40s (and older!), looking good is starting to require work. Lots of work.

It starts as soon as I get to work, which for me is pretty early, so it's an early reminder of my daily aging process. First reminder: I can't read anything without glasses. My eyesight went downhill about the time I turned 40. Sometime between then and now it fell off the hill into a deep, dark well. Now I'm having to face the fact that a more permanent solution might be a good idea. Maybe Lasik. But I hate doctors, I don't do elective surgery like most people seem to do. But I probably have at least a dozen pair of "readers," and I can never find a pair when I need them.

As we get older, our conversations with our friends shift too. We still talk about kids, but now some of my friends have kids who are graduating college or getting married. That is making all of us feel old. And of course if your friends are getting old, your conversations with them change. We talk about the health issues of our parents. We talk about losing weight and working out.

I live in Texas -- where you can't spit without hitting a plastic surgeon, and it seems like my friends are all getting "work" done. Botox. Face Lifts. Eye Lifts. Permanent Make-up. I knew about college funds, but I had no idea I'd get to this age and have to worry about coming up with thousands of dollars for these types of things. At least, that is, if I want to "keep up."

The one I'm most intrigued with now is the permanent make-up. It's pretty interesting. And considering I've never been very good with make-up, it seems like a good idea. I know it's not new, but they weren't doing it in my universe until last month. It's wild. Two of my closest friends have the permanent eyeliner top and bottom. It's really cool. I never thought aboout the fact that it's a tatoo. Who would have thought you'd ever come to a point where you could get your eyelids tatooed at a nail salon in a small town in Texas. I'm amazed.

But I've decided that for now at least I'm going to just try to age naturally and gracefully. My best friend is there with me too. She's very au naturale, and we'll get through this aging thing together.

My uncle, who is probably the coolest person in the world -- a product of the 1960s and my dad's youngest brother, is turning 60 this year. He writes books and reads philosophy and consults with government and industry. He's really, really smart. This week he sent me a one line e-mail. It simply said, "Every step we take is toward perfection."

"Every step I take is toward pefection."

Wow. What a great way to think about life, and for me it fits with all this thinking about aging. I'm going to do what I can to age gracefully. I'm trying to exercise more and eat less. I'm on my way to being perfect, and although it's still going to be a lot of work, being perfect is not going to be based on how I look.

Friends Wanted

The older I get the more time I seem to spend helping my friends with their marketing and PR. I don't mind. My friends have interesting businesses like coffee shops and patio stores. They design houses and are interior decorators and photographers and fitness instructors and realtors. One friend (and most of the people she and I collectively know) sells Mary Kay.

My friends are also do-gooders, and I usually get to help. They host fundraisers and weekend retreats. They run for school board and city council. Inevitably, once new friends find out what I do, they come up with a project for me. The discussion usually goes like this:

"So what do you do exactly?" I usually answer with whatever I did that day. For example today I would say, "I help clients with their communications, write brochures, manage print jobs, help with client presentations, design ads, and talk to the press." "Oh," they say, "I wonder if you could help me with..." and that's how it starts.

I'm not complaining. I like being busy, and I like helping friends build their businesses or do their good deeds. I like helping people do something "professional" when they had no idea that they could. I love making my friends look good, helping them get a little publicity for themselves or their events, get their picture in the local paper, get elected.

And in truth, this work is never done for free. In exchange, I've been paid in dozens of creative ways. I have an enclosed breezeway in my house for helping launch a new business. I have energy efficient solar screens on both the front and back of my house from various efforts managing publicity, and writing stories, and designing stuff. I get free coffee, probably for life. I have friends willing to "pose" as my associates and accompany me on business trips or to meetings where showing up alone could be detrimental.

Today I got a "free" skirt and blouse for just saying I'd help with a presentation. And I'll get paid foundation, mascara and lipstick for ideas and assistance with a special promotion and some PR. The list goes on and on. I've had free months of pilates and "friends discounts" on professional services. It's great to live in a society where this is possible. It's good to have successful friends.

So that leads me to the point of this post. I'm looking for a few new friends. I'd love to have a friend who is a plastic surgeon or aesthestician. I could also use a friend in the dry cleaning business. If you meet these qualifications, let's get together soon! And I look forward to working -- I mean being friends -- with you!