How to be a hockey mom.

If you're looking for a political commentary, click away. This post is going to be a few dos and don'ts for real live hockey moms, in hopes that moms, dads, grandparents and any others involved in hockey or other sports may learn something.

Let me preface this post by saying I have not put a lot of thought into this, and I am certainly no expert. I've made my mistakes as a sports mom through the years. Perhaps there's something about hockey that attracts a specific breed. Or maybe it's the added stress the sport puts on your wallet, but a good hockey mom learns to manage that stress and deal with other issues, like when your kid doesn't get much ice time.

The number one rule of being a hockey mom: the MOM part, and the examples you set are WAY MORE important than the HOCKEY part. Here are a few specific dos and don'ts.

1. Ice time is not a birth right. It's something a hockey player earns. If you want your kid to have more ice time, it is YOUR responsibility to make sure he has the skills he needs. DO invest in plenty of practice time, camps, private lessons, whatever your kid needs. Otherwise, he will sit on the bench more than you'd like to see.

2. If you think your kid deserves more ice time, DON'T tell the coach he's stupid. That will not result in your son getting more ice time. Guaranteed.

3. DON'T leave it up to your teenage son to get to practice at 5:30 a.m. on his own. Get up and take him. If he shows up only every other time or shows up 15 minutes late or without a helmet or without all the equipment he needs, he's not going to get more ice time.

4. DO understand that although you can buy your way on to a team, there is no guarantee your kid will play as much as you want or even as much as the other kids on the team.

5. If you want your kid to play, DO take him to open hockey, drop-in hockey, private lessons, camps, spring training, buy him a net and a shooting pad, encourage him to practice. Support him by helping him get better. The better your kid is, the more time he'll play.

6. DO NOT isolate yourself from the other parents. If we don't know who you are, you don't bring your kid to practice or you don't come to the games, we can't tell you about all the opportunities for your son to get private lessons, open hockey, drop-in hockey, and more practice time, etc., etc.

7. DO come to practice. This is where you see exactly where your kid's skills stand up to other kids. It's where it becomes blindingly obvious whether or not your kid has what it takes or doesn't. If he doesn't, get him some more practice, camps, private lessons, put him on a second or even a third team to get the ice time. If you aren't willing to do some of this, or you really can't afford it, save your money and pull him off the ice altogether.

8. DON'T let your kid get involved in hockey unless you are ready to make some sacrifices yourself. Hockey is more than writing checks. It's spending time with your kid in the car on the way to practice, and before and after games. It's talking about what went right and wrong, about the other kids he's spending time with, about what camps, extra ice time, and additional practice he might need or about how much he's improved and how proud you are of him.

9. Hockey gives you great opportunities to talk about real life lessons like anger management, fairness, safety, nutrition, hygiene...even the importance of good grades. It's an opportunity to forge a bond with your kid that you will never regret. It's certainly worth a little lost sleep and the time it takes.

10. Finally, if you have something to say to the coach, do it in private. Do it calmly. Don't stand in the middle of the rink lobby and start pointing your finger and screaming. Calmly make an appointment to talk to the coach. Hockey coaches are great people. They know more about your kid and his ability to play hockey than you do. They don't mince words, they will tell you exactly why your kid doesn't get ice time. Coaches are about more than winning, they like to develop players. They like to see kids improve. Yelling at the coach won't buy your kid any favors.

That's it. I'm sure there's more. Like I said, I'm no expert. But in the four or five years I've been involved in hockey I've learned a few things. It can be a great sport, or it can be an agonizing sport. As with everything in life, you get out what you put in.

"Kids do the darndest things." (No wonder all my stuff needs repair.)

My kids recently made the mistake of leaving some of their home videos on my camera. When I went to download a couple of photos, I found some interesting things. This was something they apparently thought would make it on YouTube. They never got a chance. Instead, they were banned from using the golf cart (for a while). As my husband says, "Boys will be boys." My suggestion to them is to delete the evidence. It's not good when Mom sees stuff like this.

"Hey, Mom, we killed a snake in your office!"

I've lived in Texas for nearly ten years. Before I moved here, we had a going away party, and a client of mine brought a date who just went on and on about how she hated Texas because of the snakes.

She told stories of them climbing through the air conditioning ducts, and I'll admit she had me a bit freaked out. So one of the first things I did with my boys (who were little guys of 4 and 7 at the time) was make an education lesson out of an early trip to the Tyler Zoo. We went in the reptile house and learned everything we needed to know about snakes in Texas. (Basically what I learned was that if their head is shaped like an arrow, it IS poisonous.) Most snakes in Texas, I learned, were not poisonous, although some can grow to a relatively large size, and they all freak me out.

That visit to the reptile house aside, over the years, I have had very few encounters with snakes. My kids, by nature of being boys running around near a lake, and at friend's homes in the country, have seen more snakes than I. But we lived on the lake for eight years, and in that time I think we had one tiny snake in our breezeway, one (maybe two) tiny snakes in our swimming pool, and one or two instances where I saw a BIG snake in the lake or on our beach. I would say that's a fairly low snake siting incidence for that many years.


I got home from somewhere on Sunday to find out that my oldest son and his friend had killed a snake. Not in a field near our house. Not somewhere in the woods on the golf course. They had killed a snake IN MY OFFICE.


Now I wasn't home, thank goodness, but my husband insists that this particular snake probably took up residence last week when I had the door to my office wide open. There was a great breeze last Thursday, and I was having a meeting here, and I had opened the door to let the breezes and the sunshine flow freely in. I did not invite that snake. If the snake came in on Thursday, that means it was in here with me on Friday when I was working. I was in and out of the office a little on Saturday, with the snake, and then on Sunday my son came out to play the drums or lift weights or who knows what, and stepped on it.

Fortunately, my son's friend, our next door neighbor, was here, and he knew just what to do. He went to the kitchen to the knife block, grabbed a cleaver, came back to the office, and chopped the snake's head off. I am so glad I was not here, and I'm so glad I've never used (and will never use) that cleaver.

Now before you get this horrible picture in your head (like I did), understand that this snake was maybe 10 inches long and skinny. But it had fangs, and my husband said the mouth was still moving up and down when he picked up the head, but what shape the head was, I do not know. The boys were all to happy to kill it. Cleaning it up responsibilities went to my spouse. I'm just glad it happened on a weekend, because I did not have to see it or clean it up.

Anyway, now while I'm writing news releases and optimizing web copy, and conferencing with clients, I'm also looking over my shoulder. I often go outside to get some air and to proofread, and now I'm looking for snakes before I even take my first step out. It's a little freaky. I have a small foot stool under my desk where I keep my feet now -- up off the floor. I know snakes can slither up the legs of anything, but in case there was more than one...in case that little guy had a brother or sister, or heaven forbid a whole nest of brothers and sisters, I've got my eyes peeled.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing it. I guess it's on my mind. I don't think they deal with this sort of thing in corporate America, do they?

Congrats Horizon Data Center Solutions

Once in a while I like to share something about one of my clients. Today's story is about Horizon Data Center Solutions.

HDCS operates a 25,000 square foot state-of-the-art data center that is based in Dallas. In their world, what that means is they are big. Big, big. The gentlemen behind this operation are leaders in their field, and they are motivated, service oriented, and smart.

Last week we put out a news release about their "stellar" growth, and it's been picked up in their industry very respectably. The client seems almost surprised by this first success, and I have to smile, because I know clients, and with these guys, this is just the start. They have a lot more great things to talk about and a lot more opportunities to share their news. Horizon is a new client that I will enjoy working with.

Here's why: PR gets a bad rap on occasion and has somehow been associated with not telling the truth or with making up stories. We've all heard the phrase, "Give it the PR spin." But the role of a publicist and the real goal of PR is to provide journalists with access to interesting stories that their readers will care about. You do that on either a very selective or a mass distribution basis.

A good client for me understands that they can't have press releases that sound like sales sheets or ads. They understand that if they are willing to give numbers (a $70 million lease, 300% growth, plan to add two data centers in the next six months...in Horizon's case) that's a story. If everything is secret or shrouded by a corporate veil, or they don't have "permission" to talk about it...there is no story. Then the PR person has nothing to deliver, and journalists will not be interested in being the conduit for the fluff. Not to mention that if you're a publicist your reputation is at stake every time you send something out. If you send schlock just to appease a client, the good stuff you send out may not get looked at either. You can quickly get locked out.

Back in 1987 -- a long time ago when I was a public relations coordinator at a national association I went to a conference, and one speaker was the Public Relations VP from BASF or some gigantic company. I remember him saying something shocking and exciting at the same time. He said, "If you are forced to write a release that is not news, do yourself a favor and once it's approved, throw it out. Don't send it." This resonated with me because at the time half my time was being spent on news that wasn't news, or that wasn't going to do anyone any good. It was what today they would call "vanity PR," "So and so has written an article entitled blah, blah, blah.."

Of course this was in the days before we had email, when we would xerox, fold, stuff and stamp press releases and physically mail them, often with pictures of people, products, and events. PR departments had big trays full of mail. We had labels, and stamps, and everything went through the mail room. It was hard to "dump a tray" and not send out a release, but I do think I may have done that once or twice. In the long run, it was better for my employer and for me.

Today I avoid that problem by telling my clients that we not only have to have a story, we have to have a really good story, something worthy of an impactful headline that is keyword rich and SEO-friendly. We also need a combination of custom distribution and targeted pitching and national wire service or paid placement. That's just the way it works today. We also need an understanding of timing and opportunities and goals and objectives -- not just the clients, but the media target timing, opportunities, goals and objectives. It's a science with a creative execution, and I like that.

So welcome Horizon Data Center Solutions to the OutreachPR portfolio of clients. We certainly hope you'll continue to be pleasantly surprised at the results we can achieve. PR really does work. You just have to have the right person handling it for you, and she has to have the right clients. When that happens, it's a good combination.

Proud Moments

I don't want to brag, and I know it's not polite, but I am excited to report that my son Dylan is running for class president of the first 8th grade class at the new Mabank Junior High.

The election is next Monday and there are all sorts of rules about what the candidates must do, can't do, as well as what the job, if you are elected, of class president entails. I had to read about six pages of information and sign off on this effort, which it turns out does involve a little work.

What you must understand is that Dylan is not the type of kid you would imagine would run for president. His vice president, his best friend Jeremy, probably is. When Dylan told me about this in his "oh by the way" way on Sunday night, and handed me the packet to sign, I was pretty shocked. Especially because there are a lot of candidates, and almost all his friends have paired up in teams. They are all running against each other. They are into it. This is pretty cool. They might actually LEARN something that won't be on "the test!"

After reading into the packet of rules and requirements, I noticed the part about the three posters needed on Monday. (It was after 10 on Sunday night.) "Who's making your posters?" (they need three). "Jeremy," Dylan said. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Do you realize you have to make a speech?" "Yes." "What are you going to say?" "I don't know." The publicist and campaign manager in me began to get nervous. We only have a week my subconscious worried as it quickly compiled some good key messages, while my wiser "this is your kid not your client" side took charge.

Wise Mom stifled my concerns and I went to bed Sunday night proud, and at the same time wondering if Dylan had any idea what he was getting himself into. My subconscious started working on a tagline or campaign slogan... and worrying about the work that was to be done...

At 7 a.m. on Monday my phone rang. It was Jeremy's mom, who I must say, like me, is an over-achiever. As president of the local bank, she's one smart cookie, as is her son, my son's running mate, who also is a kid I've known since they were both four. Dylan was already at football. "Jeremy is sick, and I have this poster here," she said. "But we didn't read the information until late last night and we only have one done." The campaign manager in me took over. "That's fine," I said. "Don't worry about it." We arranged for me to pick up the one poster at the bank , and I would take it to the school for Dylan. Of course the publicist in me and the "detail gal" was concerned about the lack of posters, and because this is an agency and I have all the "stuff," I spent a little time after doing some work and made a second poster for Dylan and Jeremy. I had the stuff to make another one, but I had real work to do too. I drove to the bank, delivered the posters to the junior high, and got back to work.

The kids' first campaign meeting was held after school, and Dylan came home last night very excited about the campaign process, what they could do, etc. It was good to see his enthusiasm. Later his friend Stephen came over. Stephen is running as the VP on another ticket. We jointly discussed strategy, and I listened for any insight I could about what he and his running mate were doing. Stephen had gone to the dentist and missed the meeting, so he didn't know what their posters were like, what they were planning to do, nothing. He may have been faking ignorance -- a good strategy. I made a mental note to pick his brain the next day.

Last night around 9:30 Dylan came into my office. "Mom, can we make me a t-shirt and some buttons?" The designer in me -- the one who gets excited about "rush" jobs sprang into action, and because this is an agency, I had all the stuff. So we designed a logo, made a transfer, and ironed it on a t-shirt that he had found in his dad's closet. We also made some buttons using the laminating machine, and some stickers. It was nearly midnight when we went to bed.

Of course this morning he wasn't happy with how big the shirt we had made is, so he found another one in his closet, we quickly printed another transfer and made him a new shirt. Oh my God, what a prima donna...candidates...they are all the same. He wore his new shirt to school today, and although the transfer is not as crisp as the one on the big shirt, it's okay for 8th grade. He'll get the campaign started.

So it's only Day 2 of the campaign, and the election is next Monday. I have no idea how much more time this is going to take. There's still the speech and the election process itself. There is the campaigning ("Give the stickers to the 7th grade girls and smile at them real nice and ask for their vote," I told him this morning. "Focusing on the 7th graders takes care of the problem caused by all your friends running and splitting the vote," I pointed out.

There is still the debate for You Tube, and maybe a web site. But for the most part, his work is done. Best of all they really could ALL learn something.

Of course I'm going to continue to stay out of it. I have no intention of getting involved. This is not my project. It's my son's.

A Little Goes a Long Way

This morning I received the first annual report for a project my friend and colleague first told me about last year. It is a micro-loan program for widows in Burundi, Africa, one of the poorest places in the world.

I had read about providing what amounts to venture capital for people in developing nations, and I have received the "gifts" at Christmas that say, "Your gift is our donation to XYZ which purchased two goats for refugees in Estonia," and I've always thought, "What a great idea." So when my friend asked me to be a part of his Widows and Orphans Ministry program and the micro-loan effort, I said, "Sure."

The report I got today listed five pages of women who had borrowed anywhere from $26 to $172 to help them fund their efforts to support their families with everything from "Planting and selling corn and beans" to "Buying a cow to sell milk." The venture was started with just a little bit of seed money from half a dozen associates of my colleague. But the seed money he got from a few friends has turned into an enterprise that has been able to self fund itself as the women who borrow the money pay it back -- with interest -- a whopping ten percent, I might add.

So when Claudine Kwizera borrowed $73 to start selling telephone cards, and she repaid over time $80, her extra $7 went into the kitty for the next needy widow. This self-sustaining fund has already dispersed more than $4300 (a king's ransom in Burundi) of which $3700 has already been paid back and another $1800 still exists for the women who apply for the loans on the next application date. I don't get the math exactly, but I do get the point. This pay it forward sort of system is working in Burundi. Almost 100 women over the last year created and are running their own successful small business operations in order to feed and clothe their children and as part of their quest for a better life.

The small check I sent was a small price to pay to be a part of this effort. I'll do it again in a heartbeat. To know that Macurata Ciza is planting cabbage and Valerie Ntandiburintuntu is selling rice, and their kids are no longer hungry and these women are no longer charity cases feels very good.

If you feel drawn to give, go to www.iamhereforyou.com.

Ike

I don't think I've ever been through a tropical storm, thank God. But I guess I'm about to.

Ike is barreling down on Texas, and you wouldn't dream it by looking outside. It's very calm. Almost eerily so. But Ike is coming. Unless something dramatic happens over night, he's on his way.

My friend from Florida called me today. She's been in Florida for 24 years, and she has weathered a few storms. She wanted to make sure I was prepared. Of course I was not. Still am not. At least I know I'm not prepared. But she freaked me out a bit, in a good way. She put me into action.

I emailed friends and colleagues in Houston and offered them refuge from the eye at my house. I don't know if anyone will respond. They are probably already gone if they are leaving. Traffic is going to be miserable. All lanes headed out of town in Houston -- probably eight lanes of bumper to bumper headed north.

Our church started welcoming evacuees today. My mother's domino club had to be moved. That's why I know.

I have a feeling if these people get here today, they are going to want to stay. It's a gorgeous day. We're headed out in a few minutes to a football game. Our son (who broke his finger in practice Tuesday) may or may not play. I prefer not. I don't particularly like football. That's neither here nor there nor the subject of this post, but the point is, it's nice out right now.

But Jennifer said the wind is going to blow and the rain is going to come. The news says six to 12 inches. That could be nothing to two feet, who knows? I'm sort of excited. I guess life in a small town is getting to me. Things like this excite me. I'm hoping we'll have house guests. That would be exciting for me.

Of course all this said, I have a ton of work to do. People outside of this area don't realize what could be going on here over the next 72 hours. It could be pretty crazy. They still need their stuff done.

Stay tuned. Maybe I'll post video during the storm. I have some from when Jean came through a week after Katrina. That was a big one too. But not as big as Ike.

Ike, I'm not ready yet, my mom says get cash and a full tank of gas. I just need food that doesn't have to be microwaved, some flashlights, some batteries, and some drinks. I have a good book I want to read (The Shack, you have to read it). We'll keep the kids close.

All this light hearted excitement aside, my good friend Ana told me today that her aunt died during the hurricane (this same one, Ike) in Cuba. Yesterday I guess. It's very sad. Nothing is on the news about that. The infrastructure of Cuba is fragile at best. There is a terrible story to be told there....but say a prayer for Ana and her family. This is the second aunt who died this week. The other of natural causes here in Texas, but it's been a rough week. Pray for the people of Galveston. They just might lose everything in the next couple of days. And pray for me, that it doesn't hit Kemp, Texas, because I have way too much to do because today I've been preoccupied with the hurricane.

Help your neighbors, friends! Take a hike, Ike!