Time to Party

I've decided I'm going to have a party and invite everyone who has ever been mad at me. I figure that there will be more people at that sort of party than at a party of people who I haven't rubbed wrong at least once.

And here's my theory about that: I'm a passionate person. I typically try to do my best for people and am always focused on results. As a result, when people get in my way of results or question my methods or my timing or my ability to perform basic tasks, I react in ways that by some are considered to be "over reactions" and by others to be "unprofessional." I am good at pissing people off. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often, but still, I probably should not be allowed to talk to clients...sadly there's no one to stop me or to do it instead of me, so it's a bit of problem.

One client told me yesterday that I was unprofessional because I suggested that perhaps I wasn't the best person to work on his account. I thought that was very nice of me. I have his best interests in mind. This same client reminds me weekly of what I'm not doing right and pretty much ignores the things I am doing. Another client got upset with me last week because his "no hurry" project became a "rush" without my knowledge, and when I said his project would be "forthcoming asap" (meaning as soon as I can get to it), he called that sort of deadline "silly and ridiculous." Being called unprofessional or silly or ridicuolous doesn't motivate me to do a good job for someone. Perhaps it used to, but at my age, I tend to be a little less willing to bend than the service business I am in probably requires. I'm usually working as hard as I can and trying my best for people. I typically go above and beyond and at least try things, although they don't always work. And if someone doesn't appreciate the effort or my style of doing it, I quickly lose my interest in their project and definitely lose my motivation. Because this is a commercial venture, I try to continue to plug away, but the less focused I get on results and the more focused I get on keeping people happy, the more uninteresting the work becomes to me. And if I lose interest, professional or not, I can't be as effective doing what I do.

It's funny, usually the happier my clients are, the less I'm probably doing for them. If I'm making them uncomfortable or causing them to be concerned about being able to accomplish something we've set out to do, or if they are spending money on something that makes them a little nervous, that typically means we have some good ideas that we're pursuing that are not easy to accomplish and that, if allowed to work, will work great. But lately, doing my job without making people uncomfortable or even mad is becoming harder and harder to do.

I don't know if it's the economy, or pressure people are under to make more money or make their paychecks stretch farther, but the people I deal with seem to be getting agitated much easier than I'm used to. I think I may be getting agitated easier too.

Even my kids are mad at me lately for things like not letting them drive my car to school or making them pick up their rooms. I know everyone isn't mad at me, but having even a few people mad at you can be a very demotivating factor.

But as I said, if I really think about the best client relationships I've had, they have been at times adversarial. Why? Because I've fought for the things I wanted to do or for the ability to try it my way. Clients have complained about things I haven't done and wished I'd done something else. I've worried about budgets, clients have worried about budgets. We've "fought" about money, about strategy, and about effort. Usually it works out and everyone understands the other's position. Sometimes it just can't be fixed. Sometimes when they don't treat me right, I just don't care. Because it is not all about the money.

Some weeks it feels like everyone is piling it on and I can't do anything right. So I've decided to have this little party and invite everyone who has been mad at me for something at least once in my life. I'll have to rent a big hall and hire a great caterer. I'll need several weeks head start to get ahold of everyone I've ever disappointed, but I think that when they all come together, it's going to be an impressive group. If I could bring the people both living and dead who I had disappointed, that would be even better. My dad could be there: he didn't like the way I did lots of things, and pleasing him was always a goal. My old boss from Syntex could be there if he were still alive. He was disappointed in how I didn't keep my nice car spotless and how I refused to side with management rather than "the masses" when developing messages that were supposed to bail him out of something he'd agreed to that corporate wanted us to support.

My mom would be there because of that time I forgot to reschedule the court date for probating my dad's will, and I forgot. My husband could be there for all the thousands of times I've pissed him off through the years. And my kids...they'd be there, along with sales people whose calls I didn't return, and ad reps whose ads I didn't buy.

Clients: I've got eleven years of them, and most have probably been upset with me at one time or another. I don't ever remember being fired, per say, but I've probably come close many times, usually when I didn't care, and I've certainly not sought contract renewals with clients that were hard to please or usually mad at someone or something. Old bosses who trained me only to leave and co-workers who thought I should have stayed on at jobs with a future would be at this party. My neighbors would be there for that fireworks incident. Some teachers would be there and school administrators. When I think about it, I've mad a lot of people mad in my life. There was the cousin whose wedding I cancelled out on and the reunion I didn't go to and the friend I didn't call while in Florida. Yes, if I invited everyone whose been mad at me I would have a huge crowd at a party.

Now why would anyone want to be in a room full of people who they have angered? I guess because if I didn't care about these people or their causes I would not have bothered to express my opinion to them or assert my dissent. If I didn't care if an event was successful or if a publication picked up a story...if I didn't care if my son's hair was cut so that he stayed out of trouble or that a room was clean for "health reasons" these people wouldn't be mad at me. But because I care about the success of clients and their events, I tell them what I think and inform them of my concerns. I don't react well to being micro-managed and I need to work on that. I don't like being told, "Because I'm paying you to do it that way." But I need to accept that as a good excuse for why someone is mad.

The party is forthcoming. If I've made you mad, you're invited. And if I haven't made you mad yet, give me a call. I'm sure that with a few months of getting to know me, I could find a way to get under your skin too. And when everyone is in the same room, I'm going to flick the lights off and on, ask for a drum roll, and then say, "I'm sorry." It's going to be a great party.

Protecting American Jobs

People who know me know that I'm a bit of a rebel. Usually I keep that side of me contained and only use it to point out the insanity and corruption in things like school board policy, evil superintendents, and ridiculous politics. We have all of those things right here in east Texas. Sometimes I go outside those bounds, like yesterday.


I get some work off a website where employers post projects and freelancers bid on them. I've made a few thousand dollars doing that over the last year, and it's been a nice source of extra income. Yesterday I received an invitation to bid on a particular project, and when I went to look at the posting, something about it just hit me wrong.


In summary, the posting read, "Web design firm based in India seeks U.S.-based freelancers to sell services to U.S. firms. Hefty pay for performance." At the time I saw the posting there were three bids already posted, two from the U.S. and one from India. I had no intention of bidding on a job that had as its goal offshoring work that should remain in the U.S., and I was amazed that two of my fellow U.S.-based freelancers had bid.


So I went to the discussion board that is typically reserved for asking questions specific to the job and I wrote, "Hi, Thanks for the invitation to bid. If I read your message correctly, you are in India and are looking for marketing professionals here in the US to market your web design services to US clients, for which you will pay "hefty" commissions, is that correct? Do you want us to include in our bid a copy of the paperwork that shows we sold our souls to the devil for the almighty buck as well? Thanks!"

Within hours my comment had been removed by the moderator and I had been strongly reprimanded by the freelance service, which reminded me that if I wasn't interested in a job I simply should not bid on it.

I did notice, however, that there has only been one other bid since my posting, so perhaps I encouraged others not to bid as well.

There's something just wrong, wrong, wrong with trying to help countries that are themselves economic powerhouses steal jobs from people in the U.S. I'm not exactly a patriot. Most days I'm not proud to be an American. In fact, I'm usually pretty embarrassed by things like American television, American sports fans, American greed, American stupidity, and American politics.

But when it comes to protecting American jobs from people who are, frankly, sucking the dollars out of our economy, I'll stand up every time.

So I may not be the most popular person on the freelance web site right now, but at least I can hold my head up high and know that I have not sold my soul to the devil for the almighty dollar.

God Bless America.

Doing Good Around the World

There are days that humble us all. Today I received an article from my friend and favorite graphics designer Alexa Croft.

The article from the San Francisco Chronicle was about a Modesto, California doctor: Dr. Frank Artress, who had experienced a near-death incident while on vacation in Africa. When the natives helped him to survive his ordeal (which involved getting him over a mountain top), he made the decision, along with his wife, to go back home and sell everything -- the big house, the ocean condo, the art, the matching silver sports cars, the stocks -- everything, and move to Africa.

Dr. Artress has spent the last several years fighting tropical diseases he never knew existed, first from a hospital in Tanzania, and now from the bush, where he treats tribal members, provides antibiotics, and reaches deep into the jungle and developing civilizations. Alexa sent me this article because her sister-in-law, Amber Croft, spent the last several months working with this doctor. Amber's photo was one of several that accompanied the really wonderful article in the San Francisco Chronicle. I'm sure Amber will have incredible stories of her own to tell.

I've attached the link here.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/05/04/BA8MUSL28.DTL&hw=higher+calling+in+africa&sn=001&sc=1000

A Simple Little Project

I've decided there is no such thing as a simple little project. At least when it comes to home improvement.

My front lawn has a section that has been filled with little white rocks. I don't like these rocks, and I have thousands of them.

I decided I needed to get rid of them. I've been planning my strategy for a while. Today was the day I decided I would start. I stopped for a cup of coffee on my way to town to help rev my engine. Friends were there so I chatted for a while, then went on to my mother's to borrow her wheel barrel. No quick trip there. The cleaning ladies were there, and since they used to clean my house, I had to chat for a while. Nice people. I had to chat with my mom for a while too, so by the time I got home with the wheel barrel, I was already well beyond my 90-minute window. Good thing I'm self-employed.

I started my project. I filled up the wheelbarrel with rocks, which I discovered requires picking them up by hand. Searching for my gloves caused a ten minute delay. Once you pick the rocks up by hand, you put them on a shovel, get a good load, and then dump them all in the wheelbarrel. Yes...I've tried to use the shovel to dig them up directly, but it doesn't work because of the protective liner under the rocks. The hand method seems to be the only way. Anyway, today I learned that a section of about 1 foot by 3 feet of current rocks equals one wheelbarrel about half full. Half full is a lot, but I'm about 1/48th of the way done.

But as soon as I got the wheelbarrel full I realized the tire on the wheelbarrel was flat. Fortunately we have an air compressor, so I went in the garage and found it, backed my car out of the drive next to the wheelbarrel, plugged the compressor into the phone charger slot and filled up the tire. I was proud.

When I got to the back yard where this first load of rocks was going, I realized I now had to weed the new area. An hour later when I had the area weeded, I realized I needed to wash the rocks. (Yes, I am obsessive. I know it.)

After washing the rocks, I realized that all rocks are not created equal. I spent the next hour sifting through the rocks picking the best white ones, washing and rinsing again, and picking the best again. Then I started sorting the non white ones into a pile. I had rocks with yellow, rocks with rust, rocks with a rosy color, silver rocks, and even some black rocks. I picked out all the best white rocks and made a border around my new rock garden in the back. I got done with that and lined the boarder with non-white rocks, yellow first every foot or so, then red filling in, then the gray ones, and finally the black. The rest of the "okay" rocks got poured into the body of the bed and spread with the shovel. It looks good.

My 90-minute project turned into five hours. But it's a good start. At this rate, I should be done in August. Glad I got it started though.

Meaning of Life, Part Two

I've decided this week that I have no problems.

What I have are mere obstacles. I know a couple people who truly have problems. Multiple obstacles that have joined together as a larger "problem." A lot of it comes down to health. Physical and mental health.

If all you have are obstacles, you can pray for the focus to use the talents that you have inside you to overcome them. It's amazing what we achieve when we do that. Since problems are just bunches of obstacles, with a lot of prayer and focus, we can usually overcome those too. Or I'd like to think that.

So many people don't know what to do when they face obstacles. (And remember, that's the easy part.) If they do nothing, repeatedly, obstacles in their lives join together and become problems. It's not behavior that can't be changed, but it's behavior that does change people into believing that they really cannot control what happens to them.

When you have problems you have so many choices about how to deal or not deal with them. But when it's the first time we've dealt with an issue, and we don't know what to do, and we try to handle it ourselves, and we don't ask others for help, sometimes we choose the wrong thing.

I don't think we have to make it all so hard. I find that prayer works for me. Some might call it meditation, chi kung, hypnosis. I get mine from prayer. Because we're only human.

"We're only human? What does that mean? "
"I thought the human was at the top of the food chain brain-wise."
"We're sort of in charge here. Aren't we? "

Think about that while you drink your morning coffee.

Something new, and probably rare:
Morning prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful day. In Texas the sun is shining the trees are blowing, the mowers are mowing. [Down here someone would say at this point cry out, "Hallelulah!" another would shout "Amen!"]

"Dear God, Jesus taught us to worship you and to believe. Too often we don't take the time for that. But if we just did it, and used the time to thank you for what we have, to focus on what we need, and ask for direction, our lives and the lives of those around us would be forever improved. "

Jesus walked around the world telling people to follow. Follow what? Follow him? Yes, and no.

He wanted us to follow God's plan. He wanted us to know how much God appreciates our praise, our thanks, our time. So today fit in a talk with God. Thank him for your blessings. Ask for his favors in helping you focus on the things that really need to get done.

I believe God wants me to share my "bounties" with others, and that sounds great, but I have to achieve those bounties to share them. That's my job today.

What's yours?

Martha, Martha

In the early quiet hours of today I received a devotional from a magazine called CALLED, for whom I have considered writing, but for which I have not found the time.

Anyway, the devotional for the day was the story in Luke about Martha, the woman who welcomed Jesus into her home and then busied herself with all the cooking and serving, while her sister Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened. Martha was so angry with her sister, but Jesus said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part..."

My goal this week is to be a little more Mary and a lot less Martha. It's going to be a beautiful day.

The Meaning of Life

I'm no genius. In fact the older I get the more I realize how much I don't know. But I do think that life isn't supposed to be so hard. It's not supposed to be stressful. It's supposed to be filled with love and with people we care about.

Instead, in this day and age, we fill our lives with work. We try so hard to make things happen. It makes me wonder what would happen if we just sat back and let it unfold. Maybe that's the secret to happiness. I know I'd like to see what happens if I take that approach -- even just for a while.

When it comes to my work I usually am pretty confident and I'm dedicated and I work hard. I know how to get things done and how everything seems to fit together. In my personal life it isn't quite that easy. People we are supposed to care about are the ones that hurt us the most. People we're supposed to care about are the ones we're mean to. People we care about the most are the ones who disappoint us. I just don't get it.

So today I've decided to try something new. I am lowering my expectations for everything. I am going to be fine with working eight hours a day and stopping. If I don't get my work done, too bad. I'm going to be fine with not having my house as clean as I'd like and not having the laundry up to date. I'm going to be fine with having little to nothing in the pantry. I'm going to be fine with towels on the floor and dishes and soda cans scattered in the bedrooms. I'm going to be fine with kids who don't do their homework or who choose to wear shirts that look like they slept in them.

I have a theory on this. I think that what I will find is that letting these things go won't screw up my life. What it just might do is make it easier to get up in the morning and face the day. I think it will ease the pressure. I'm going to open up my mind to new possibilities and forget for a while about what society says I'm supposed to do.

I'm doing this because I want to find the meaning of life. So far, in my 40 plus years on this earth I haven't found the happiness that I think we're supposed to have. I haven't found that thing that makes me hang on to life and appreciate it and realize how precious it is. Maybe by cutting out all the pressure and the expectations, I can find that.

Because one thing I know is that life is short and for the last many years, despite the successes I've had with my business and my acquisition of material things, and the good work I've done for my clients, I haven't had much fun. I can no longer truly say that I am really happy or that I am having a great time. Maybe by relaxing a little and opening my mind to new possibilities I will.

I'm on a quest for the meaning of life. I'll let you know if I find it.